The Ladies Who Lunch, Military Style

As many people know, and most can infer from television and other media, the military is full of traditions, stereotypes, and at times seemingly out-of-date expectations, both of the military member and the spouse. It’s hard for those outside this world to comprehend, and even harder for those of us inside the world to understand sometimes. Trying to explain to people in the civilian world that, no, we don’t always (OK, almost never) get a say in where we move. That just because we won the lottery once and were fortunate to live in Germany, that doesn’t mean that garden spots like Leavenworth, KS aren’t on the table (we were stationed AT, not IN Leavenworth—prepositions mean things, kids). That expectations are very different than in the civilian world, and there is just no substitute for personal experience with this stuff. This life ain’t for everyone, believe me; it’s a distinctly different lifestyle than that on “the outside”.

One of the things my husband has always said is that he likes that I don’t fit the “military wife” stereotype. You know, the stereotype that the spouse doesn’t work, wears pearls every day, shops a lot, and “lunches” frequently. Think 1950’s housewife, and add military life on top of that. Stereotypes being stereotypes for a reason, there are many folks who embrace this picture of the military spouse, and do it well. More power to them.  That may be great for them, but if you’ve ever met me, you know that I’m pretty much the polar opposite of that stereotype.

However, it has become clear over the years that while my more rebellious traits are admired by my husband, it makes me a pariah in varying circles each time we move duty stations. First, we don’t have kids. It’s a choice we made, and it’s our choice. However, we inevitably get the “What? You don’t have kids? And WHAT? You don’t WANT kids? You must hate children and those who birth them!” Yeah, that makes for a good first conversation, huh? Strike one.

With this life, every time we’ve moved, I’ve worked or volunteered full-time to keep my resume and career moving forward. This time, of course, is different (see my long-winded explanation here). I’ve even had people say to me “You do realize you don’t HAVE to work–you can shop!” or “What do you mean you work? When do you have time to get your nails done with a schedule like that?” (yes, these are exact quotes from people over the years)  But working in some manner is important to me, and that means that daytime “playdates” with other spouses haven’t always been in the cards. That also means being left out of opportunities to meet people and socialize—again. Strike two.

And the final barrier always staring me in the face is that I don’t generally subscribe to the “ladies who lunch” mentality. There are monthly get-togethers at the officer’s club on base, and I have to admit that these gatherings tend to remind me of the song lyric from the Van Morrison/John Mellencamp song “Wild Night” that says “…All the girls walk by dressed up for each other…” After all, one’s appearance can be a window into whether or not you are likely to fit the expected profile of the military spouse. I don’t wear the uniform of the traditional military spouse. I stand out because, well, I like to stand out. Strike three.

Once you’ve got all of that straight and you know where you fit (or don’t), you dive in anyway. Diving in has made me some good friends over the years, and I’ve realized that the stereotypes, while there for a reason, are just as bad when I’m labeling folks before I give them a shot, too. It goes both ways, and I need to get over myself!

But beware, the pitfalls are still to be had at events like monthly luncheons and the like (I think there is a difference between “lunch” and “luncheon”, don’t you?). Sadly, another stereotype is that at these luncheons, a dish will be likely be served includes a chicken dish of some sort. That poor fowl has been cooked and poached and roasted to assure that any possible flavor it could have had is never going to reach the plate. I won’t post a picture of what this looks like–I don’t want you reaching for your trash bucket.

When I do attend these functions, I often find myself sitting there thinking about what kind of chicken I would rather have. Basically, I want nothing that resembles the stereotype of the military spouse, or of the expected and feared chicken at the monthly luncheons. Something juicy, flavorful, and darn it, not served with vegetables that are supposed to be green but are brown instead. Something that has character, has its own personality, and isn’t trying to be something that it’s not. Something like this gem that I was craving after a recent luncheon experience. So much so that I came home and made it that night.

Stereotypes be damned! Now THIS is what I call a hearty luncheon dish, worthy of any military spouse who wants to buck the trend, or any other person looking to change it up for that matter.

“Luncheon Chicken” Reboot

This is a dish, like so many others, is one that I have changed over the years to fit my taste (and my pantry).  It’s versatile, like any successful military spouse, in that it can be adapted to whatever climate, location, or community you’re living in.   It’s a great dish for company, a potluck, or for a random Wednesday night.  It can be served over any old starch you like (sorry, I have to have a starch with a dish like this!), but mashed potatoes are my favorite for this.  In fact, you could even toss this all in a crockpot in the morning and let it simmer all darned day, filling the house with rich, smoky aromas.  This a great way to welcome anyone coming through your door, no matter where may find yourself!

Ingredients:

• 4 chicken thighs (you can use chicken breasts, but chicken thighs have so much more flavor)
• 1/2 diced onion
• 8 oz. cleaned, dried baby portabella mushrooms
• 1 tbsp. chopped garlic
• 1/4 c. light soy sauce
• 1/2 c. bottled BBQ sauce (I prefer the sweet, tangy flavor of Kraft Original BBQ Sauce)
• 3 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
• 2 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
• 1/4 tsp. chili flakes (omit if you don’t want a spicy flavor profile)
• 1/2 c. chopped fresh herbs (I like a combo of thyme and rosemary, but oregano, chives or any other hearty herb works well)

1.  Grease 9×13 casserole dish.
2. Toss all ingredients in large bowl, being sure to carefully incorporate all of the ingredients.
3. Pour all of those tasty items into casserole dish.  Allow to marinate for 15 minutes to an hour, refrigerated.
4. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
5. Remove from refrigerator and allow to come to room temperature.  Bake at 350, uncovered, for 20-25 minutes, or until chicken is done.

How would YOU change this up to shatter the stereotype of bad, dry chicken dishes??

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